Crafting Connection: The Art of Establishing Group Agreements for Meaningful Dialogue
Whatever term you use, agreements, norms, or guidelines, these frameworks are essential for fostering a connective and respectful conversation space. At Potlucks for Change dinners, it’s not uncommon for the conversation to touch on vulnerability, big emotions, or feelings of hopelessness.
As a host, you have an important role to play in setting the tone of the conversation and supporting those who participate in feeling heard and respected. As with all our resources, take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.
Here are some sample agreements that can encourage productive and empathetic dialogue:
1. Respect for All Voices
Everyone’s perspective is valuable and deserves to be heard.
Encourage equitable participation, ensuring quieter members have space to share their thoughts.
2. Step Up, Step Back
If you are someone who usually speaks last or waits to contribute, this is an invitation to step up and share your experience.
If you are someone who usually speaks first or most often, you can create more space for others in the group by consciously stepping back and seeing if others want to share first.
3. Stories stay, Learnings can leave
What’s shared at the dinner stays at the dinner, fostering trust and openness.
Respect the privacy and personal stories of others.
You can share what you learned or took away from an experience
Please ask for consent before sharing any resources in a public forum
4. Open-mindedness
Remain open to new ideas and perspectives, even if they challenge your own beliefs.
Approach discussions with curiosity and a willingness to learn.
5. Speak from Your Own Experience
Use “I” statements to express personal opinions and feelings, avoiding generalizations or assumptions about others.
Share personal stories and examples to illustrate your points, only to the extent you feel comfortable
It is always ok to refrain from sharing or answering a question
6. Reproductive Freedom can Activate Big Emotions
Reproductive Freedom can touch on experiences relating to autonomy, power, control, and loss - please be mindful to allow each person to share fully without interruption, and to refrain from passing judgment about their experience
Stay engaged and present, even when the conversation touches on sensitive topics
7. Seek Understanding, Not Agreement
Aim to understand differing viewpoints rather than trying to convince others of your perspective.
Recognize that consensus is not always the goal; understanding and respect are.
8. Pause Principle
If emotions run high or the conversation becomes too intense, anyone can request a pause to regroup and reflect.
Use pauses as opportunities to breathe, reflect, and return to the conversation with clarity.
9. Respectful Challenge
Encourage respectful questioning and challenge to explore and deepen understanding.
Frame challenges as questions or curiosities rather than confrontations.
10. Center on Hope
Movements take time, connection, and persistence to create change. The loss of Reproductive Freedom didn’t happen overnight and it will take our concerted efforts to restore our freedom
As a Host, find opportunities to share stories of hope. Avary Kent, the founder of Potlucks for Change often reminds guests that “hope is an act of justice.” Inspired by the work of Bell Hooks in Talking about a Revolution, “Hope is essential to any political struggle for radical change when the overall social climate promotes disillusionment and despair.” – Bell Hooks, from Talking about a Revolution
We hope these group agreements can be a rich starting point for shaping your conversations. If you have any other agreements that you love and that work for your hosting, please share them in the comments and we can keep updating the resources page.
